okay so it's been a while.  i know i know.  i moved across the country, moved into my moms house (i'm going to milk this for as long as i can), i've had the first couple business meetings for my biz and i've started working.  

let's just get to the good stuff.  i've been substitute teaching.  yeah yeah i know.  my siblings didn't think i could do it, it's shocking to everyone - compose yourselves and come back, i'll wait.  

so monday was my first day.  and i went into this thinking, "can they really just let you fill out an application and then put you in a room with children for the day?"  the answer is yes.  yes they will.  

day one - monday - THIRD grade
i got their early to go over the lesson plans, i mean this is SEVEN hours with TWENTY-SIX, 6 and 7 year olds.  no joke.  so we worked on some stuff in the morning ( i don't even remember because they start at 7:30 in the morning and i don't wake up til 9).  we did some reading where this sweet little girl read a paragraph outloud and about half way through she gets to "Dr. Weener said."  and obviously the whole class erupts in laughter.  after saying, 'okay boys and girls, let's keep going,' i had to walk toward the desk so the kids couldn't see me laughing at the fact that she said weener in class.  NOT GOOD.  but really funny!!  

a little bit later in the day i needed to teach cursive handwriting.  now, i was in the third grade 18 years ago.  i think that was the last time i wrote in proper cursive.  my hand writing now is a combo of print and cursive, in all honesty it's just a combo of ink and paper.  so, i get to the board and we're learning the n, m and y.  are you kidding me?  who is the genius who decided that a cursive M needed THREE humps??  so, i had to write all three letters on the board. i'm in the clear right? WRONG, a little girl comes to the front board and says, 'our teacher normally writes these words on the board.' o...k... so i have to write the word slammed. easy enough. except that the s was tricky and there are two of the freaky M things in a row!! pretty sure they laughed at me! then i had to make and R yikes.

at one point in time the globe became this much wanted item in the class. so, they would pick it up and take it to their seats and i would make them put it back. five minutes the same thing. five minutes, the same thing. no joke. so finally it stopped. we work on our beloved cursive and then i hear '**** took the globe to his seat.' so i look at him and say, '**** please put the globe back.' now at this point the globe is in his lap and fully visible to the entire class. he says... are you ready for this?... "i didn't take it!!!" i looked at him and said, "****, this is by far the worst excuse i have ever heard in my entire life! you gotta be kidding me! i'm looking right at it and YOU are holding it!" and the whole class is laughing and so is he. he giggles as he walks by me and mumbles, "i should have thought ahead!" so great!

okay, last one... i had to ask if one child was special ed. i feel bad. honestly. i just couldn't tell. turns out he wasn't, he just was a pain who refused to do anything.

so that was monday, in a nut shell. a very very small nutshell. now, the last two days i've spent teaching at my moms school witch is MUCH more challenging. no kidding. it can't even be expressed into words. but that could be 18 blog posts so i'll condense and post. enjoy these little snipits for now and i'll write more soon.

sorry california friends i've been so turned around that i suck at communication right now! sharon and ruth i keep meaning to call you but when i drive to work it's 330AM for you (not a good time to call for anyone!) and when i leave it's 11am your time and i'm not going to lie, i've been so tired and sick (AGAIN) that i've been going home and going to bed. i'm not sure but i think i'm old. but i love you guys and i miss you more than words can say. i will track you down soon!

k