i'm back! im feeling much better lately, health wise. i'm off most of my drugs which is a good sign. so far so good. and, lucky me, i don't have a cocaine addiction...or at least not that i know of.

on one of the days that i just needed to get out of the house, i made a trip to the dollar theatre. when i got there, nothing was really showing except this movie 'crash'. i had heard of it and i knew that sandra bullock was in it but that's all i knew. it's about 12 or so people that live in los angeles and throughout the next 48 hours their paths all cross and their lives all crash into each other. the theory behind the movie is that it opens with this quote, "it's the sense of touch, you know? in real cities you walk and brush past each other and people bump into you. But in LA, no body touches you. we're always behind this metal and glass." i didn't really know what to think going into it. the first five minutes were a bit awkward. in the first five minutes, you hear so many negative stereotypes. i was sitting in a theatre of so many different people and so many ethnicities that i didn't know what to do, i'm sure that my whole body clenched. but by the end of the movie, you really see that it addresses so many things. it was incredible! i recommend it. there is one part where sandra bullock is talking to her best friend of the phone and she says, "i don't know i'm angry at nick, i'm angry at maria, i'm mad at this person and that person. and i realized that it has nothing to do with the car being stolen, i wake up angry every day and i don't know why. i'm always mad, and i..." and her friend cuts her off and says, hey let me call you back. it's like sandra is pouring her heart out looking for anyone to prove that they care about her and she is neglected by the person she loves the most. it really hit home with me. after that phone call she slips and falls down the stairs and later in the movie you see her laying in bed talking on the phone to her husband the DA of los angeles, and she was saying how she called her best friend because she fell and couldn't move and her friend couldn't come to help because she was getting a massage. her maid (whom she yelled at and hated the entire movie) ended up taking her to the ER and was taking care of her while she was in bed. when her maid leaned in to help her sit up, sandra clasps onto her and says, "you want to know something crazy? you're my best friend in the whole world." it just is so true of how lonely people are. i understood it very well.

on that note, i'm going to go to bed. big day at the scrapbook store.

a couple of prayer requests. my friend dustin is due to leave shortly for iraq. he is leaving his wife and year and a half year old daughter behind and he'll be gone for six months. i know that he would appreciate all the prayers we can send him.

also a friend of mine from the store, her father had a stroke this weekend so if you could keep her and her family in your prayers as well.

and obviously, the thousands of people who have been effected by the hurricane. the police men and women have been so effected that many of them have killed themselves to get away from it all. please pray for them. i can't imagine. if i could afford it, i would be in the car, on my way to new orleans with a boat to help the search and recovery that is going on. i still don't believe that i have accepted that it has happened in the US. on top of that, i saw an interview of a survivor and she kept saying, "what is left to believe in? where can i find hope?" i just pray that God uses people close to the site to show his strength and love. these people need love right now. love and hope.

you can live a week without food. a few days without water. a couple minutes without air. but you can't survive at all without hope. it's such a powerful thing.

i pray that you are all safe.

until all have heard
k