Wednesday, January 30, 2008

i like it

as we all know, i love matthew mcconaughey. i was reading on his blog that he's having a baby with his girlfriend and he's very excited about it. however, the coolest comment came from his mom that he wrote about she said, (i capitalized the part that i love)

"Just when I think life cannot get any 'sweeter', matthew and camila fill life with more... so here I am, "DRINKING FROM MY SAUCER BECAUSE MY CUP IS INDEED OVERFLOWING" with this new baby!"

wouldn't it be great to live life every day with that kind of outlook. that's amazing!

i like it. i like it a lot.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


so i worked at another elementary school today. i was working with the kids that get pulled from classrooms when they need additional focused learning... anywho, i'm working with this one kid and i'm having to teach them how to read these words on the page and then they have to draw a picture of what the word means. so we work on this sheet and this little guy starts his little drawings which were much more advanced than i thought they would be. so here's his sheet

now here is why it's so funny... he draws what 'pet' means and flips his paper around to me and says, "this is my dog. he is a boy. this is his weenie." HOW DO YOU NOT LAUGH???? and i did, i laughed and he said, "it is. he has one." seriously, i about cried.

this same little boy a little bit later was working in a group but didn't really know what that meant so he kept trying to take the book away from the other kids so i told him to sit and we'd wait for them to finish and then we could take our time. so, this upset him because i singled him out (note to self, don't single out a small child) so, he was saying, 'why did i have to sit and be punished?' and i told him that he wasn't being punished i just wanted him to work on his assignment slowly so he knew what he was doing and he said in his little squeaky voice with a semi-lisp, "no. wait, you're not listening to me. i am the only one telling the truth here and you need to believe me. listen carefully. i wasn't doing anything wrong." and i said, "i know you weren't doing anything wrong," and he says again, "you're not listening to me. i am the only one telling the truth." i was cracking up... after i brought him back to class. ah first graders.

and here is the picture of what happens when two little girls are bored while aunt katie takes a shower. this is one ticked off schnauzer.

tomorrow...fifth grade and then a biz meeting... good times.

Monday, January 21, 2008


okay so i'm mentally challenged. all this time i've been thinking that i was getting gipped from having titles on my blog. I've never had a title option. turns out that i had it disabled in my settings. jason simnick, these titles are for you!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

home improvement

okay, here is a little known fact about me. and honestly, i think most people don't know this. i LOVE do-it-yourself home improvement projects. no kidding. it's an illness. when i was in high school, my junior year, we moved into this house that my mom is now. (the same house that i'm mooching free room and board out of) and i told her one day that i wanted to do a fish bathroom upstairs. i think i saw it in a magazine one day. and shockingly she let me do it. actually she did majority of the work that time because i'm not artsy at all. i can't paint fish that look like fish, it's a physically impossibility. so, i just moved home about a month ago and i mention to my mom that it may be time to redo the fish bathroom.

-on a side note, my brother absolutely hates this fish bathroom. he went out to dinner one night and got food poisoning from fish... orange ruffie to be exact... and he came home and was throwing up in this bathroom. and he continually tells me about how he's throw up and then look at the orange fish on the wall and then throw up again, so it was time for change for all of us. -

so, i mention to my mom, i think it's time to redo it and she said she wanted to stick to something that would match the new towels she just got and i was off on my home improvement agenda. here are my pictures from today... all in one day... and keep in mind it had waves and rainbow fish on the walls.

so, here's the downside of my liking to do home improvement projects. two things actually.

1. i can't paint to save my life. i'm not being modest. it's true. i helped paint my sisters new house when they first moved in years ago and i can't paint. they kept demoting me on my jobs. i put up tape. i use an edger, it just does nothing and i get paint everywhere. so the fact that i did the whole bathroom by myself is a miracle all in itself. however, i have been told multiple times that i am the THE person to have around while moving things. i have freakish strength, i don't really get it. i remember, again when my sister was moving into her house a few years ago, adam, my brother-in-law tried to have my sister help him move a gigantic refrigerator into a pick up truck and they couldn't do it so i went over to help. i think his exact words were, "next time we move, i'm calling you first." it's strange, I'll be the first to admit.

2. i am the poster child for ADD. and with ADD comes something called hyper focus. and hyper focus is why i'm still awake right now. if you don't know what that is, the best way for me to describe it is that you have an idea of something you want to accomplish and you get it in your mind and it's something that takes over. nothing else matters, there could be a million other things that are easier, faster and more important and it doesn't matter. you'll spend as much time as it takes to get it done but it has to get done. hence the reason the bathroom is done and i'm now sorting and organizing everything i own. the bathroom took me about seven hours start to finish taping, priming, painting, drying, painting, hanging things on the walls, cleaning the drawers, cleaning the closet. it's an illness. and with hyper focus... it's like putting blinders on a horse. it doesn't phase me that i missed lunch and dinner, it just needed to get done. and that my friends, is one more thing you probably didn't know about me.

one more bit, i left for california a non-cleaner, i came home a clean freak. it bothers me to have things out of place. it's sick, it goes back to the hyper focus thing. so either i clean and can't stop (like right now) or i can't clean because it won't end until i've done it all.

one more side note. my nieces adia and tori are here for the next two weeks and adia is... how to say this... a drama queen. if she sneezes and it hurts, you'll think shes having her heart cut out with a spoon (thank you monty python!). so, she runs into the door frame today, multiple times, but on one of the occasions my brother looks at me and says, "gutsy but clutsy." so great but so TRUE

heres to another couple hours of meaningless cleaning ...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

i love matthew mcconaughey

I am secretly in love with Matthew McConaughey and so this is one of my favorite videos...

this is matthews rebuttal which is funny, it's all the way at the end but pretty funny none the less.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I = not qualified for middle school

alright.  so, middle school.  i hated it the first time i was there, i don't know why i thought this would be any different.

while standing there dealing with a girl who was about 13 and is at the stage in her life where you apply as much eye liner as you can BEFORE gym class and you pretend that you're dumb as a rock because you think its cute, and i realized two things:

1.  i am NOT predestined to work with middle schoolers.  it is not my gift, it is NOT my calling.
2.  i was only in first period.  

did i mention that i was teaching gym?  no kidding.  so.  badminton.  not a joke.  when i was in middle school i remember thinking that it was the dumbest thing in the world... it hasn't changed.  one kid said, "seriously does this stuff even matter?" and i said (which is one more reason i shouldn't teach middle schoolers) i said, "yes, of course!  honestly?  you want to know honestly if this matters?  no, it really doesn't.  i think the last time i played this game was when i was in middle school."  and one girl said, "so why do we have to do this?  aren't we wasting time?"  to which my reply was, "i'm pretty sure you're learning this just in case you marry the prince of england because that is the only plausable time i could see you needing this ability... your birdie is over there."  no kidding.

also, here's another observation.  middle school was 15 years ago for me.  not as long as others but really long for me.  so, it hasn't changed, in all these years.  the cliques are still there and they haven't changed.  you have the popular kids, the ones who want to be there, the ones who don't, the jocks, the jerks, the nerds.  it's amazing to me.  i sat there watching this thinking 'wow, that's so-and-so that i went to high school with... and that would be jill and that's ryan and that kid over there is justin."  i could pick out kids who were the match for when i was there.  and the mean bullies picking on the weaklings, i wanted to kick their butts.  no kidding.  i wanted to grab a couple of them and shake them repeatedly.  but i'm not their parent, i'm the worthless sub that isn't qualified to teach gym.  however, i do remember one thing about my gym teachers from all my years in school... they swing their keys... so i swung my keys.  therefore, i was a little more qualified.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

this coming june i will be a bridesmaid in my friend merediths wedding. i need to pick a black tee length dress. so, any favorites stick out to you? it doesn't have to be any of these but i like these. i won't be buying it until mid may but i'm getting ideas for what i like. here are some that i like in a variety of colors, but don't worry, i would order it in black :)

and aside from that, here is a really cool picture of LA, a city that i miss greatly.

Friday, January 11, 2008

i taught a half day in third grade again. hysterical. here's the best quote ever:

"something tastes skinny in my mouth and i even gave myself a hickey!"

no joke.

jason, i'm all over the's like a life sized game of pinball. today was bittersweet a couple days ago it was disney.

also on a side note, my friend todd and i went to my moms school yesterday because i didn't take a job yesterday. so, i brought her starbucks because now that i've seen and taught in her school, she deserves a very caffinated beverage... it should be spiked but at least caffinated. so i gave todd a tour. so, as we walk through the lunch room the kids that i taught on tuesday were having lunch and they yell, "mrs. holt, mrs. holt!" i told them it was miss but they don't really care. then, todd was walking behind me and they yell, "mr... mr... holt!" and their little voices trailed out as they said holt. so funny. i think todd was offended but it made my day! i thought it was hysterical!

and now for the weekend. woo hoo!


let me just say that i don't care if words are spelled incorrectly. i don't. maybe i should but i don't. you think someone who doesn't use capital letters cares about spelling? fyi punctuation isn't a priority either. im typically writing this late at night where i cant really think straight or see straight so there you have it. so, forgive the misspellings.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

ah the third grade

that's the title of the last post

okay so it's been a while.  i know i know.  i moved across the country, moved into my moms house (i'm going to milk this for as long as i can), i've had the first couple business meetings for my biz and i've started working.  

let's just get to the good stuff.  i've been substitute teaching.  yeah yeah i know.  my siblings didn't think i could do it, it's shocking to everyone - compose yourselves and come back, i'll wait.  

so monday was my first day.  and i went into this thinking, "can they really just let you fill out an application and then put you in a room with children for the day?"  the answer is yes.  yes they will.  

day one - monday - THIRD grade
i got their early to go over the lesson plans, i mean this is SEVEN hours with TWENTY-SIX, 6 and 7 year olds.  no joke.  so we worked on some stuff in the morning ( i don't even remember because they start at 7:30 in the morning and i don't wake up til 9).  we did some reading where this sweet little girl read a paragraph outloud and about half way through she gets to "Dr. Weener said."  and obviously the whole class erupts in laughter.  after saying, 'okay boys and girls, let's keep going,' i had to walk toward the desk so the kids couldn't see me laughing at the fact that she said weener in class.  NOT GOOD.  but really funny!!  

a little bit later in the day i needed to teach cursive handwriting.  now, i was in the third grade 18 years ago.  i think that was the last time i wrote in proper cursive.  my hand writing now is a combo of print and cursive, in all honesty it's just a combo of ink and paper.  so, i get to the board and we're learning the n, m and y.  are you kidding me?  who is the genius who decided that a cursive M needed THREE humps??  so, i had to write all three letters on the board. i'm in the clear right? WRONG, a little girl comes to the front board and says, 'our teacher normally writes these words on the board.' o...k... so i have to write the word slammed. easy enough. except that the s was tricky and there are two of the freaky M things in a row!! pretty sure they laughed at me! then i had to make and R yikes.

at one point in time the globe became this much wanted item in the class. so, they would pick it up and take it to their seats and i would make them put it back. five minutes the same thing. five minutes, the same thing. no joke. so finally it stopped. we work on our beloved cursive and then i hear '**** took the globe to his seat.' so i look at him and say, '**** please put the globe back.' now at this point the globe is in his lap and fully visible to the entire class. he says... are you ready for this?... "i didn't take it!!!" i looked at him and said, "****, this is by far the worst excuse i have ever heard in my entire life! you gotta be kidding me! i'm looking right at it and YOU are holding it!" and the whole class is laughing and so is he. he giggles as he walks by me and mumbles, "i should have thought ahead!" so great!

okay, last one... i had to ask if one child was special ed. i feel bad. honestly. i just couldn't tell. turns out he wasn't, he just was a pain who refused to do anything.

so that was monday, in a nut shell. a very very small nutshell. now, the last two days i've spent teaching at my moms school witch is MUCH more challenging. no kidding. it can't even be expressed into words. but that could be 18 blog posts so i'll condense and post. enjoy these little snipits for now and i'll write more soon.

sorry california friends i've been so turned around that i suck at communication right now! sharon and ruth i keep meaning to call you but when i drive to work it's 330AM for you (not a good time to call for anyone!) and when i leave it's 11am your time and i'm not going to lie, i've been so tired and sick (AGAIN) that i've been going home and going to bed. i'm not sure but i think i'm old. but i love you guys and i miss you more than words can say. i will track you down soon!