Saturday, February 24, 2007


so i've been MIA for a while. i'm working a lot. i was supposed to have tuesday off but someone else called in sick so i ended up working.

i have a big project that has the first deadline on monday. so...'less' sleep until then. it's a good thing though. it's nice to get back to editing something. it's been a while.

i recently found out that i'm irish. let that sink in a bit. in the words of my mom, 'yeah, come to find out, we're irish.' seriously, now that's a funny conversation. all along we've been under the impression that we're english. at least that is what my grandpa holt originally told my parents. well, apparently before my grandfather died, he traced his family back to a town called letterkenny in ireland, 'more north, than northern ireland.' and in the words of my brother, 'i guess that means we're sea people.'

i'm pretty sure that the majority of my family and friends think i'm dead right now. i've had to call friends who have been trying to get a hold of me to reassure them that i'm lying in a ditch someplace.

a friend of mine may be coming out to visit in april which i'm pretty excited about. visitors are always good, it gives me the chance to prove that california is the place to live...though so far i haven't been able to convert anyone. i need to work on my technique.

my blog can now be found in TWO places. that's right. i'm moving up in the world. you can find it at the typical '' or just type in that's right. thanks to and my good friends sharon and steve, my blog is now hosted elsewhere. pretty excited about it actually.... so there.

i'm trying to do all of my updates in a nutshell, 'this is me, in a nutshell, how did i get into this tiny nutshell?'

i also get delirious when i lose sleep.

i need to sleep.

top o' the mornin to ya...unless you're reading this at night.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

ah valentines day.

heres the thing about valentines day. it's great an all but i'm a firm believer that it shouldn't be any more romantic than any other day of the year. i think the 'romance' that people celebrate today, should last all year. i don't want a relationship that does the 'i love you' thing once a year. i don't believe in making it a production and i like the idea of spending valentines day doing something fun that isn't...i don't know... so out of the ordinary that it's more of a production.

i get a lot of 'you're lying!"s with this but i'm not a huge flowers person. i know i know. i like flowers, actually i love flowers but the idea of spending a lot of money on something that will die absolutely kills me. in all honesty, i think i prefer a single flower, randomly than a big boquet. i love roses. i really love tulips and i think my favorite are gerber daisies. i would much prefer getting A flower randomly than a big arrangement on valentines day, aka 'the day you're obligated to love someone'

candy. lets address this, shall we. please don't give me a gift that i will later hate myself for eating. it just... just no.

i do like valentines day. i like the fact that it's a day set aside to celebrate love, but those of us without it in a specific kind of relationship are left out feeling like outsiders. i normally send really funny cards to people for valentines day. i managed to get about 6 out this year. it's sad, i wanted to send merediths 2nd graders some and i ran out of time and energy. it was very unfortunate.

it's funny though because, not being in a current relationship, i don't think about not being in a relationship, i always think about past relationships...which may be more pathetic. it's not in a bad way but a remember all the funny and fun stuff. like the best valentines day i ever had was in high school. meredith and i made a scavenger hunt for our group of guy friends that ended with a pic nic at the top of the dunes at the feb... with heart shaped jello and pb&j sandwiches. i'll post pictures some other time. we had a lot of fun... i can't think of a better one.

may you have had the best 'love day' ever.


spell check won't work again... bummer

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Monday, February 12, 2007

today was a good day off. busy but fun. went to the beach with sharon, steve and the dogs. poor domino was not excited about the water. cali however is pretty excited about any water.
straight from the beach i went to the mall to meet up with james and alycia and their son mason. james and i are working on a project together and wanted to catch up. i think the last time i saw either of them was pre wedding which was almost more than 5 years i think. so strange. we got to share some good memorys and some flash backs. alycia was one of my housemates at woodleaf, my first summer...the weird summer...(ahem, rob) and then james is my boss from both summers. and mason is their adorable son who is so funny. 'mason' was alycias maiden name. i love that idea. can i name a kid 'holt?'
after the mall, i got to head home, shower and head out to the bowling alley. so fun. everyone from work went bowling to celebrate one year since we opened the store. i actually scored a 112 my first game and a 165 my second game. then it went down the pooper and i got a 97. what was that?? gabe kept asking me, "how are you good at bowling??" i tried to explain it was because of taking bowling in gym in middle school and high school but he didn't seem to believe me. maybe it was from when i took bowling in college...thats right folks, i took it in middle school, high school and college and i still only got a 165. sadness. anywho on the last frame of the last game, gabe made a joke, i laughed, threw the ball and then tripped on my own foot and landed on my face. ah, good times. so, here are the pictures of me face down in the gutter.

these are the two guys i get to work with every day. we get to laugh a lot!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

dont be alarmed. this will sound kind of...strange.

i thought life would be more than this. when i was in high school i had this plan for what my life would be. i thought i'd go to college, but i wasn't sure. i didn't think i'd make it through college actually. funny when i think of that now. i thought i'd be different, i thought life would be different.

i don't know why but i had this idea that i'd be one of those people that right after you get out of college you find the perfect job and it just fits. you fit. it fits. it's a great fit. i thought i had that. turns out i didn't fit, and it didn't fit nearly as much as i thought it did. i always thought there were two different kinds of people...well, more than two, but two that matter in this equasion. one is the the kind of person that doesn't really know what they are going to do with their lives. they're fine with kind of wandering through life, not on a mission but on a journey. and then the other kind of person was someone on a mission, they knew where they were going and how they were going to get there. they had a plan and things happened according to that plan.

i thought i would be the later. come to find out, i don't think i am. i'm the first one. and i don't think i'm okay with it. it's like i knew what i wanted and along the way somewhere i turned left when i should have gone right. i accepted when i should have declined, i left when i should have stayed. and i don't really know how to find out where i should be or how i would even get back on track. it's like the freeways here. there is the 5 and the 405. they split through LA. they actually form a Y down by me. i'm famous for taking the 5 when i should have been on the 405 luckily about 10 miles after the split, there is the 55 that runs east-west. i can take the 5 to the 55 and get back to the 405. i feel like i need to get back to the 405...but there's no 55 in sight. have i lost you yet?

you know i started doing video stuff in middle school? i did. how funny is that. if you're lucky, i still have the video tapes of amber andi doing the morning announcements. it's amazing i was never beat up in middle school. i've officially been doing video related 'stuff' for 13 years. how creepy. i love to do it. i enjoy it. i still do it now. but i wonder if it's really something i meant to do or if it was a fun club that i joined and never turned in my membership card.

how is it that i'm 25, (26 in almost 6 weeks) and i feel like i haven't accomplished anything? i had such great dreams and goals. it's like in high school, and college for that matter, anything was possible. i was going to conquer the world....and then i went out into the world and realized it was a lot more than i thought i'd have to conquer.

i was telling my mom tonight that i just wish someone would tell me what i should be doing and what my purpose in life really is. and the more i thought about it. i wonder if it's something that i want so i don't have to make the initail decision or if its something i'd want so i would have someone else to blame if things go wrong.

i believe i have just defined the quarter life crisis.

i have this dream. i want to shoot a documentary. i have it all planned. it's an incredible idea. it probably wouldn't make any money. and i don't think millions would see it but it's this dream i have. i would shoot it and edit it myself. it involves travel, actually, a lot of travel. but until i have a ton of money or just enough to get this off the ground, i'll be sitting on the idea.

anyone have a ton of money they are dying to give away? it could be tax deductable...i just have to form a non profit...if you stumble on some money or just want to hear the idea and perhaps join me in the process, let me know. i won't post it here so as to not let the idea get ripped off too quickly.

i'm off to convince myself that i don't have ulsers.

anwhoo. have a good evening... here's to hoping that 26 brings the end of the quarter life crisis.


ps. i'm tired and spell check won't work. bummer dude.

i'm watching 'the class' right now. not something i typically watch but i tivo'd it this time.'s the line they just said

one girl is going into her apartment
a friend of hers is coming out of the apartment across the hall. he says, 'wow, you're up early.'
she says, 'yeah, you too.'
he says, 'i'm going for a run.'
she says, 'you know, you die either way.'


Monday, February 05, 2007

Sunday, February 04, 2007