Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i'm here to pose an odd question.

how do you deal with disappointment?

how do you deal with disappointment in your own life and disappointment in others? how do i personally deal with it and how do i comfort a friend who is disappointed.

it's such a strange thing for me i guess. i don't think i've ever had to think about it before i think i just dealt with it but for some reason, lately i've been having a harder time with it. i used to be able to just let it roll right off me and not phase me but in the last couple months i've let it get to me more than i wish it did. why is that? why am i more vulnerable to disappointment than i have been in the past? and it's in all different aspect of life too. and i'm not just disappointed in other people or other things or work, also disappointment with myself because i expect better. i expect better out of the dumb little things. it's all very confusing for me. i don't get it.

any advice would be welcomed.

in the mean time, i'm off to edit.

woo, freakin hoo. :0)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

meredith came down this past sunday to spend my day off with me. it's nice to be able to live close enough that she can come down for a day or a night. it's fabulous. plus, she's a teacher so she has the summer off. it's great. so, she came down on saturday and we hung out all day on sunday. we couldn't figure out what to do all day so we decided to walk around main street in huntington beach so we get ready to catch some sun in the jeep with the top down and we hit the road. we suddenly realized that it wasn't sunny but quite chilly but we stuck it out. once we arrived in huntington beach we realized that we were there along with every other person in orange county. turns out we decided to go to huntington beach during the US open of longboarding competition. it was great! so we watched some surfing, got some lunch and walked around the beach shops. we had some serious laughs and caught up on some girl time.

we headed home to have my roommate evan cook dinner for us (there are some benefits to living with someone who cooks). though, he wanted to cook us fried chicken which is good and all but meredith and i both have an aversion to chicken on the bone. so, he had to make fried chicken breasts. they were very good. we also watched premonition the movie and it was...strange. i'm a huge sandra bullock fan but it was a strange movie.

well, i'm off to procrastinate some more. i have some editing projects that are barking at my heels but i'm needing to light the fire to get my motivation back. so far, i think i'm just going to go to bed.

by the way, these pictures were taken with my new iphone. i have a new phone number too, if you need it, let me know.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I am posting this from my iPhone. Woohoo!

Friday, July 20, 2007

it's official, i'm ready to get married. never thought i'd say that at 26 but it's true. for no obvious reason...

this is my friend sara at one of her many bridal showers. she got a shirt, pants and necklace made out of money! seriously. how do you register for a necklace of $50s???


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

this is a map of where i've been, where i've lived and the states i haven't been to yet. green is where i've been, red is where i've lived and grey is where i want to visit sometime before i die.

i have a list of things...literally a list, i wrote it out...all of things that i want to do by the time i turn 30. so that gives me 3.5 years to see 10 states. okay, that's roughly 3 states a year... maybe i should make it 35. yikes. is it me or did 26 sneak up on me and 27 is just around the corner! at least i get to see how amber and sarah fisel handle it before me. i'm not ready but that's a whole other blog post.

so here's the deal. i'm look for a friend or two or however many i can get that would want to do a bit of travel. i don't know when yet. i'm thinking next summer or spring but i want to see some places i've never been before. not seen on the map are alaska and hawaii. if you're interested let me know and lets go. in the mean time. i'm going to start looking at cool places to go.let me know if you have suggestions too! i want to whale watch in alaska and surf (yeah you read that right) in hawaii (and not die). the upper north east of the states i want to fly in, rent a car and drive the coast and do whatever those states are famous for.

i think this is the first time in my life i've known where i've been, how i've gotten there and where i'm going - geographically speaking. pretty cool.

also not seen on this map are the hundreds of foreign countries i haven't been to either... if you're interested in those, i'll take you up on that as well!

Monday, July 16, 2007

a deadline breathing down my neck

tomorrow is my first day off in 7 days.

also, i just recieved the footage for a project i took on.  i got it at 730pm...the deadline...tomorrow.  

this is gonna to hurt.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

this goes along with the previous post: here's the little cars that we rented... notice the ears on brents helmet.

this is a picture of all the roommates in front of ghiradelli in san fran. i love this place. we sat and at the banana splits and laughed for a really long time.

this is classic josh. he climbed the pole and sang. i also remember him while we were riding the trolley and as we were approaching the top of the hill where lombard street begins, josh starts singing, 'ding ding ding goes the trolley, ring ring ring goes the bell,' and about halfway through that, the trolley came to a halt at the top of the hill with a ton of tourists taking pictures of josh singing on the trolley. i'm pretty sure they all thought it was staged. it was priceless.

i should be checked into a mental hospital. i'm running on no sleep right now and it's 1230am. no big deal right? except i have to be up by 530. amber, i have a whole new respect for your husband!


Saturday, July 14, 2007

once upon a time i lived in a house in northern california called the faulk house. no kidding. that was the historical name of the house. pronounced falk. say it too fast and you have yourself some issues. the best part was that i lived there while i worked for young life, a christian camp. so, it happened often that i would radio to one of my many roommates and ask where they were and more often than not, you'd hear back, "i'm at the faulk house." again, very important to enunciate and speak slowly.

the reason i bring this up now is that i've always thought of myself as someone who wanted to live more by myself than with roommates. growing up i had this goal that before i got married i would live by myself at least once. i wanted to make sure that i knew how to do it. i want to be able to pay bills and manage money and live. i remember when my dad died, i knew i wanted this to be one of my goals because i saw my mom handle everything so well, i wanted to be able to do the same should i need to. it's just always been a goal. so, my senior year of college, i rented a one bedroom apartment off campus in a nice complex and i did it. i accomplished my goal. i've lived by myself for the majority of time since college as well.

during college though when i worked at woodleaf in northern california i lived in a big old house with 10 people. seriously. 10. and we had so much fun. we always had someone there, we could always wrangle someone in to doing something. we had four girls and six boys and we split floors. girls had the upstairs and the boys had the down stairs and we shared the kitchen and living room (which we took the 3 couches they gave us and made stadium seating using simple cinder blocks. camp/ghetto? yes. but i think it was camp/ghetto fabulous!) it was the time of my life. i loved those roommates and i would do it again tomorrow if i could. i was even sharing a room then. that's where i met kat who is now one of my best friends. we were complete opposites but it worked... for the most part...until it came to cleaning but whatever. point is, it was fun and i loved it.

i bring this up because this past week with people here all the time made me feel like i was back there again. you could always find someone to do something, when i came home from work i knew that someone would be up to go someplace and it was a great thing to see clothes everywhere and dishes everywhere because the house looked lived in. it was relaxing and i never thought i'd feel that way. i'm very much someone who needs her personal space but maybe i need less than i thought i did.

to honor those roommates that i lived with once upon a time... here are some fabulous pictures...

on a side note, i think it's funny that when i look at these pictures i think, 'man i was thinner.' and i specifically remember thinking i was fat then. it's funny how that works out.

this is liz and i during our four wheeling adventure in the jeep through a vineyard in northern california.

this is during the kayaking trip we took down the lower truckee river in lake tahoe. i remember being jabbed in the ribs as we were taking this picture.

this is one of my favorite guys and favorite pictures ever. this is joshua donnellan from new jersey. he was my video partner while i was at woodleaf. we pretty much spent every waking minute together and occasionally sleeping moments too when we rotated sleeping on the couch while the other worked. he was the guy who would pick up the slack when i slacked off.. for 'no good reason.' (shut up tim)

this is all my roommates and i at a chinese dinner in grass valley before going go-carting. you know that game where you add, 'in bed' to the end of the fortune? well, we had just finished dinner where we had asked our boss if we could get a dog for the house and he said no, we couldn't have any pets. so instead all of our fortunes were followed by, 'without a dog.'

this is the famous faulk house. remind me to tell you the story about how i shattered the window upstairs. no good, friends!

this is me with all of my roommates minus kat. we just got out of a meeting i think and a group of us were heading to lake tahoe for our day off. i think this was the club room dedication at woodleaf actually. after this, we piled into the jeep and hit the road.

this was our intern trip to san francisco. it was so much fun! we rented those crazy little cart/car things that you can drive on the street but don't go faster than 40mph. they are open topped little cars... i'll post a picture. we developed this little game that when we'd stop at a stop light, we'd pull up to one of the other cars and as the light turned green, we'd reach over and turn off their car, take out the keys and throw them in the lap of the driver. we would then speed off, at around 15 mph, and laugh hysterically while the other cars tried to catch up. it was great. it's incredible to me that that was six years ago. it doesn't seem possible.

my new hobby...maybe

i think meredith and i are going to try surfing!  how funny would that be!  i'm pretty excited about it.  now i just have to sucker someone into teaching me or at least going out there to make sure i don't die.  just a thought

remember a while ago i was watching cops and they arrested a 'little person?'  i was flipping channels tonight and who do i see running down the streets of las vegas... you betcha!!  it was so great, he's back!  the cop actually said, 'i'm getting tired of having to arrest you, if i get you a job can you stay off the streets?'  the guy took him up on it.  they took him to a club that employs 'little people.'  i had a good chuckle about that.

if you can't find a job and you don't want to go to a recruiter... just get arrested.  

las vegas p.d., employing one street performer at time.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

i came home to a very sad, empty house tonight. i already miss having people in my house. it was, however, very clean. i'm pretty impressed with their cleaning abilities.

my friends have gone home and i miss them already. it was so much fun having them here. i actually only knew one of them before they got here last thursday and now i just love them all. i don't remember the last time i laughed so much and it was pretty much five days straight.

thursday they arrived,

friday they surfed (nearly died) and we went out that night.

saturday i watched them surf, got sun burned, went sailing and then had dinner in laguna beach at BJ's brewery.

sunday the boys went surfing and justin and i went for a drive out to a casino and then took a long, long and accidental scenic drive on our way home. (at one point justin mentioned he may want to kill me and asked me to get out and check the tire pressure - note to self, not a good sign!) and then sunday night we played euchre and laughed A LOT which resulted in a neighbor ringing my doorbell at 230 am to tell us we were too loud.

monday we headed south and went to tiajuana mexico, fun fun adventures. justin had a man offer him his 'sister.' we later hot tubbed it up for a bit.

tuesday i'm pretty sure we did something i think that's the night we went to the spaghetti factory in newport beach and had micah snorting butter. honestly, snorted butter. he won a drink out of the deal but it was disgusting. i was convinced that he was going to make meredith throw up. we then headed home but stopped at my favorite beach at the montage resort and spa in laguna beach and took some pictures.

wednesday night we went out to a jazz bar and then another bar in newport, crammed 6 people into a chrystler 300m and had a fun last night together.

i had to work today but they stopped in to say good bye and then they were off to LAX. i really wanted my friends to stay longer, i offered for them to move in and live forever but no one took me up on it. micah might come back but the other guys warn me that he might turn into a 'dupree.'

i think i tagged along with them more than they had planned on hopefully it wasn't too much but i had a blast with them and wish they all lived closer. luckily i still have meredith. she lives within an hour. you can check out some pictures here or at

off to be in my quiet boring apartment. i still have my roommate but he's quiet too. i miss the full apartment.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

a couple shots from yesterdays events. we had a lot of fun. the guys surfed in the morning and then we sailed in the afternoon, (THANKS STEVE AND SHARON) and then dinner in laguna beach at BJ's brewery, then drinks at hennessey's in dana point. it was a great day!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

battle wounds

i currently have four friends staying with me, visiting southern california for the surfing.  today was their first day in town so they rented their boards and headed out into the water in oceanside.  

in the mean time, i headed out to work all day.

i come walking into the house after work and three out of four are bleeding and bruised.  seriously  one of they has a gash on his head, a rip in his hand that looks like a hole and a giant cut on his back...which someone on the beach poured super glue into the wound and but some butterfly stiches on the wound.  it was a sad sight.  we're heading out sailling tomorrow afternoon with my friends sharon and steve and hopefully meredith is able to join us for the fun.  

i'll post pictures when i have some.  :)